The Dumbest Things

Dumbest things people have said to me in the last 10 years.

After announcing to friends, co-workers and family, "I'm going to Turkey". I'd have people come up to me and say, "Don't take any drugs!"

Ah yuh gotta love that movie Midnight Express. That stayed in the minds of everyone til even now.

(A sign of brilliance)
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After telling a friend, "I'm going to Wales"

"You mean like in London?"

Yeah, that Wales. Only it's a few streets west of London.
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After admiring a co-workers plant saying, "Oh how beautiful. Is that a rubber plant?"

She answers, "no it's real"
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After telling a group of people I was bilingual, they all assumed it was Spanish that I spoke.
It was not.
I reamed them.
Bilingual does not mean that it's Spanish that you speak, which I didn't know any of at the time.
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After someone told me that she and her husband recently bought a home in Mexico, she looks at me and says, "I really gotta learn Mexican now"

Me, "Yeah, I think you can get some MEXICAN learning dvd's and learn MEXICAN on your computer or stereo. Or you can just take a Berlitz course in MEXICAN"
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While trying to be quietly discreet, not knowing whether my friend had told the people at the party we were at, she was pregnant (her mom was the one who told me about the pregnancy) I said, "I heard that someone in this room was enceinte" and her sister said, "who cares what anyone is. My sister is pregnant and I'm going to be an aunt!"

All righty then!
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"Oh you're going to Africa, someone told me you were going to Egypt."

Is what someone said to me after I said, "Oh I love north African cuisine sooooo much and I can't wait til I get there to just eat all day long."
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Again, this was said after I announced the fact that I was going to Egypt.
By people who already know that I'd have been to at least 19 different countries on 5 different continents and ALONE for 95% of them.

"Yuh know, traveling to the middle east is not very safe these days."

As if that ever stopped me before. I'd gone to the Philippines right after president Benigno Aquino got assassinated and things were total mayhem. And to Turkey despite 3 bombings just days prior to my departure. Wouldn't it be evident by all who's known me that I just don't care? And DUH!

I also heard dumb comments about white slavery and wasn't I worried about that? As if some sheikh is gonna want a fucking old goat my age!!!!! Someone give me a break!
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After seeing some teenage boys dressed like the Beatles, with the boots and the slacks, the skinny ties and the hair, I said to my then boyfriend who was 12 years younger than me, "Oh look how cute. They're trying to look like John, Paul, George and Ringo.

And he said, "Oh I see. The Stones." Me, "Yeah, right the Rolling Stones".

I'm old as dirt. And people need a globe in their house.