BEAR GETS DRUNK ON 36 CANS OF BEER

CLICK HERE (FOR THE WHOLE STORY)

DO NOT

Ladies DO NOT	Men DO NOT
Wear unhemmed slacks	Wear unhemmed trousers
Wear old styles. Update your clothing	Wear old styles. Update your clothing
Wear old beaten up shoes	Wear old beaten up shoes
Wear old coats. Update your jackets	Wear old coats. Update your jackets
Wear old glasses. Update your eyewear	Wear old glasses. Update your eyewear
Wear shiny polyester anything!	Wear shiny polyester anything!
Wear wrinkled clothing	Wear wrinkled clothing
Wear unkempt hair	Wear unkempt hair
Check out other men in front of your significant other	Check out other women in front of your significant other
Argue in public	Argue in public
Ask a guy to take you to the most expensive restaurant on your first date	On a first date, take a woman anywhere that there are buffalo wings on the menu
Make out in public	Make out in public
Be so dismissive when you're with your girls at a bar. Someone good may be looking your way!!!!!!!!!	Use cliche pick up lines, because they just don't work anymore and you just sound like a dork!!!!!!!!
Buy your boyfriend a stuffed animal	Buy women stuffed animals
Ask your boyfriend to buy you something	Buy us anymore silver jewelry
Buy guys clothes for major events. If you do, make sure you throw in a gadget or something cool with it	Buy us a bottle of the cologne we use, because, we'll want something different when we've used it up
Wear sweats anywhere except to work out - because they look apalling	Wear sweats anywhere except to work out - because they look apalling
Wear clothes that don't fit	Wear clothes that don't fit
Stalk boyfriends on their cell phones	Stalk girlfriends on their cell phones
Get Courtney Love drunk on your date	Get Robert Downey Jr high on your date
Eat spicy - stinky foods without mints	Eat spicy - stinky foods without mints
Make comments and remarks about his ex	Make comments and remarks about her ex
Talk about your illnesses - they don't care and don't want to hear it	Waste too much time talking about how this and that is too expensive
When you're out shopping with your guy, don't ask him, "does my butt look big?" because if you don't know by now, you're an idiot!!!!!!!!!!!!	Expect us to sit and pine for you anymore. Cause as of Y2K, we don't do it anymore! We just move right on by, with someone new.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GROSS and/or SCARY PEOPLE & THINGS

*Pigs Feet
*Tongue
*Indonesian String Puppets
CLICK HERE FOR PIC
*Mannequins Without Clothes
*Chucky
*Ventroloquist Dummies
*Clowns(Ever seen Steven King's "It"??)
*Smelling Puke
*Seeing Puke
*Dead Crows
*Obese Toddlers
*White Guys in Dreadlocks
*White Guys Wearing Sikh Turbans
*Psoriasis
(See the movie "The Singing Detective" with
Robert Downey Jr.& you'll see what I mean)
*She-males that look way too much male
*David Gest
*Michael Jackson
*Farah Fawcett
*Bruce Jenner
*Marie Osmond (a real shock, please see below)
SCARY
*Joyce Wildenstein (this you have got to see)
MORE SCARY

Some of these people need a full frontal lobotomy!!!!

AWFUL PLASTIC SURGERY

Cheapskates From Hell

Please leave a proper tip! I don't know how many times in one life I've seen gross under tipping. I've seen so many blockheads in my life that it's mortifying. I don't know why people do this. Don't get a drink at a bar anywhere, this means at a wedding, benefit, funeral or Christmas party, without tipping the bartender. Don't be cheap! I've also seen people sit like clueless clods while the mariachis sing their song request and don't tip them. No matter whether it's a mariachi band or other strolling entertainers, per your request, TIP THEM! Or don't go to a place with entertainers! I, being from Chicago, just think that maybe the offenders are from po-dunk towns, foreign villages, or farms and don't know any better. Perhaps they're people who are just cheapskates. Maybe it's just that their parents were immigrants and never taught their city kids this habit. I don't have these answers. For what ever reason, do your date or guest(s) a favor and not ask her/him out if you're going to be cheap about everything. Just wait and save up until you can. It should not be a complicated thing to go to the bank on payday, and get a few singles and/or fives for this. Go to a website to see who and how much you should tip. You tip your massage therapists, bellhops, coat checker, and the list goes beyond on. Which means the minister who baptizes your kid and buries your relative should be paid also. THIS is not a tip, it's a more of a paycheck! So don't be an ass and leave proper tips! If you are offended by this blog you can piss off and don't read it anymore and don't invite me anywhere.
HANDY TIPPING GUIDE

Special People

It never ceases to amaze me, how, for the 15 years that I work in a building with an elevator, that I see people still get in the wrong one.
You don't have to be a math wiz, or even a good cook, to know that on the planet Earth, when you're standing in front of an elevator, and the up light-lights up, IT MEANS UP and vice versa.
In case you never took elevator 101, there are two lights (usually) at the top of the lift.
When the light on the top lights up, this means the elevator is going up to floors numbered higher than the one you're on.
When the light on the bottom is lit, you are going DOWN!
Got it???

MOTH BALLS AND CANNED SOUP

If you think this Blog is politically incorrect, then piss off, I don't care. Many times people of all ages who are not hygienic have serious b.o. or halitosis. O.K. I accept that it's a fact of life, some people are not clean. But take the clean ones. I noticed that sometimes elderly people smell like canned soup. I don't know what it is, but now and then, when I am near one, I catch a whiff of the smell of "empty soup can". Then there are other times when they smell like moth balls. What's up with that? Why is it either soup or moth balls? Comments welcome.

ROBO-CATS

This is hilarious, furry Robot cats.
I think this'll work for me. Low maintenance.
For your own furry feline Robo Cat
Go to GIZMODO.COM

These look like the Feline equivalent of Austin Powers'
fembots. They would make great playmates for my
above new feline pet.
Robo mice would be better tho...................
These "Sega Meow-chi" toys dance!
Check them out at ROBOTOYS.COM

IF YOU REALLY WANT TO DRIVE YOUR PET NUTS...

"CAT ATTACK"

If you want to make your pet insane, buy them this @ TOYS R US.COM This will drive most younger cats crazy, things that flap around in the wind, usually do.
I think most old cats probably wont give a crap, though.
Again - this is made in Japan. (These people have a penchant for driving animals loco.) What's up with that? If you're from Japan......tell us folks on the other side of the Pacific why you're so into animal gadgets etc????

UNUSUAL SOAPS

BACON SOAP! YUCK!

I've heard of some really gross things but this takes the cake.
Me, a girly gurl in the bath department. I'm so fru fru about bath time, that not only do I exfoliate in mandarin and citrus body sugar scrubs. I wash my hair in Aveda shampoo and conditioner. And frequent visits at the Body Shop or Crabtree and Evelyn for their wonderful fruity or flowery soaps which I bathe with. Then of course I have to use an equally fragrant skin lotion or body butter, not to mention top it off with a scented body mist. Most women like fragrant soaps, or at least lightly scented powdery scented ones. Which makes me wonder WHY OH WHY would one want to make or use bacon soap. WHY? WHY would you want to bathe in Dead Pig Carcass and Lye!???? See link below to see what I mean. It's just all too unreal. FOFLOL

CLICK HERE FOR THE RECIPE

CAFFEINATED SOAP


O.K. Now here's something less gross, but still as way out there as BACON Soap. It's "CAFFEINATED" Soap!!!!
Now coffee's not good enough? You have to inject yourself with caffeine now in your morning shower??? Now really....
First Milk Baths, Oatmeal baths, now caffeine ?
How nuts is this? See for yourself. Click below links.
COSTIC INC

XOXIDE.COM

Well, hey, if I'm really desperate, I'll keep a bar on standby. What's next?

DOGS DOGS DOGZ

Is he supposed to be a clown dog?
Is this a Halloween thing?

Click here to enter DRUGSTORE.COM

Check out the item for sale in the side bar under dog translator. It's a Bow-Lingual. I need to know what this does. Is it like an electronic translator when you go away on business, you know how to say, "Donde esta el bano? Wo sind bitte die Toiletten?" They can say...."Voulez vous coucher avec moi?"
To some French poodle in Toronto????
Drugstrore.Com also sells this product, but for much more than Overstock.
HERE IS MY FAVE. "DOGGLES"
The photo says it all. Buy these at
http://www.doggles.com/



http://shop.store.yahoo.com/doggles/home.html