Sunday, March 27, 2005


It seems like any time I pick up the phone at work, I have to get the dumb shit callers. If half of these wishy washy pillocks would pay attention, I'd be a lot happier. Some people are such dumb fucks that I can't believe that most of them are still alive past the age of 14.
I often get the callers in search of making an appointment for their child which we don't see.
(THANK YOU LORD) So I usually give them a referral of a good one. These phone calls are always the same thing.
Me:We don't see children here but I can give you the phone number of a good one.
Them:Hold on a minute, let me get a pen.
WTF?! If you're calling a doctors office to make an appointment, shouldn't you have a pen and paper nearby already? They are SOOOO stupid it's alarming. These are parents, caring for young children. It scares me that our future has nimrod mothers. I also get peeved by the odd parent who makes me wait while she's entering the date in her palm pilot. Write down the date and address and directions on paper and then fucking add it later dip shit. The world doesn't revolve around you and your damned palm pilot!
Again this goes on all day long.
Me:What's your Name?
Them:They give me their name
Me:What's your address?
Them:1234 5th Street
Me:606 -- (This is the Chicago Zip Code prefix. It ends differently for each postal zone)
Them: Oh, It's "57"

This was NOT a yes or no question! I just wanted your damned zip code dipshit! They do this to me when I ask for their area code. I'll ask for a phone number and they'll say "555-0203" and I'll ask, "and your area code is...." and they'll say something stupid like 60657 or Yeah. What the hell? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah WHAT!? PAY ATTENTION! The world DOES NOT revolve around your distractions. If you have kids, don't call when they're screaming. Don't call me from work if you have to answer phones. My life does not revolve around your work schedule! I DO NOT HAVE TIME TO BE PUT ON HOLD! Don't call me when you're on your mobile, in your car with your windows open! It's not pleasant to hear you shout over the craaaaackle kkkkkkh pffffffft sound. Don't call me from your factory assembly line job either. If you have to wear ear filters, how can you possibly think I can hear you clearly? If you need an appointment anywhere, do it when you are in a quiet place on a land line preferably. Call when your brats aren't screaming, and the dogs aren't barking. Call me when you do not have to answer phones because I DO NOT HAVE TIME TO "HOLD ON". Have a pen and paper handy and PAY ATTENTION!



My question is why OH WHY are some people so extremely anal? They have money for everything else but can't find $5.00 in 25 years time to go to a thrift shop to buy a used touch tone phone?! Out of curiosity I went to the Salvation Army thrift shop just to look to see what the going price was, so that the next time they call, I'll tell them where to go and find one.
I work in an office and deal with the public and always have to hear them bitch bitch bitch about not being able to get through because they have a ROTARY PHONE! WTF? Puhlease stick a fork in my eyes so that I can concentrate on a new kind of pain!

I have a retro rotary phone. I love it. But I have a normal people's phone too.
Why do I say that? BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT NORMAL IF YOU'RE LIVING WITH ONLY A ROTARY PHONE! You are a pain in the ass who always bothers operators, when you can just press a simple number on the keypad.

Macrobiotic Shmacrobiotic!

I am so fucking sick of people who bow to their significant other's fucking dietetic whims.
I mean really. When I hear someone saying, "Oooooh Barb is gonna get pissed at you if she see's you eating that cake". Or, "What would Glen say if he saw you eating those fries?"
I've known women sneak fries because their significant other disapproved. Or grown men sneak eating cookies or burgers because of their significant others would shit a cow over it. I've had a guy snatch a packet of butter out of my hand once. That was our last date. Fuck you if I can't eat what I want in front of you! I'll eat bad if I damned please, when I damned please. If you don't like it, fucking leave.
My favorite is "Macrobiotic Chick", who's boyfriend is so intimidated by what she'll say if he eats outside of the Macro world. My words "fuck her" and her macrobiotics. I'm not visiting my old friend anymore! I don't feel like shitting algae this week.
People IF YOU'RE WITH A BITCH WHO IS GOING TO MAKE A COMMENT ABOUT YOUR EATING HABITS.......STAND UP TO THEM! Don't be such a spineless or dickless sap. Stand up for your right to freedom fries! Stand up to your right to chocolate! If they can't take it FUCK 'Em!


Please by no means think that movies NOT on this list are movies that I think suck or are mediocre. They are just NOT movies that I think could see over and over again. I'd only see about a dozen of these movies more than once anyway. Others just stand out in my brain for years and years. Also, movies such Exorcist etc are movies that will forever stand out in my head, but they creeped me out and messed with my brain too much for me to include on my list.
This is just my personal list. That's all. It is in no way my opinion of them being the best movies of all time. They're just reflections of me myself and I. They "tickled me" in particular. I do really really love lots of other movies, but I favor these. So, finally here's the list and it's alphabetised.
(Arrows indicate highly recommended to all)

About A Boy
A Hard Days Night
Air Force One
All of Me
A Perfect Murder
America's Sweethearts
The Apostle
As Good As It Gets
Austin Powers International Man of Mystery
Austin Powers The Spy Who Shagged Me
Bachelor Party
Back To The Future
Back To The Future II
Back To The Future III
Behind Enemy Lines
Beyond Rangoon
Big Fish
The Birds
Black Widow
Body Heat
Bourne Identity
Bourne Supremacy
The Boys In Company C
The Boys From Brazil
Breakfast at Tiffany's
The Breakfast Club
The Bridge of San Luis Rey
Bridget Jones Diary
Bridget Jones and the Edge of Reason
Chances Are
Chasing Amy
The Commitments
Cool Runnings
The Closet AKA Le Placard
Dead Again
Dead Zone
Die Hard
Don Juan DeMarco
Double Jeopardy (1999)
Edward Scissorhands
End of Days
Enemy of The State
Face Off
Falcon And The Snowman
Fast Times At Ridgemont High
Ferris Bueller's Day Off
Fifth Element
Fire in the Sky
The Firm
Forrest Gump
Four Weddings and a Funeral
French Kiss
Frida (2002)
Full Metal Jacket
The Full Monty
The Game
The Gold Rush
Green Card
Groundhog Day
Hanoi Hilton
Heaven Can Wait (1978)
Heart and Souls
High Crimes
Horse Feathers
I Love You to Death
In & Out
In The Name Of The Father
Italian Job (2003)
The Jackal
Jaws II
Jacobs Ladder
Jerry Maguire
Judge Dredd
Kate & Leopold
The Key to Rebecca
Kill Bill
Kill Bill 2
Killing Fields
A Kiss Before Dying
La Cage Aux Folles
Last of the Mohicans
L'Auberge Espagnole
Leap of Faith
Less Than Zero
Life Is Beautiful
Live and Let Die
Long Kiss Goodnight
Loverboy (1989)
The Madness of King George
The Magnificent Seven
The Maltese Falcon
Mannequin (1987)
Married To The Mob
Micki & Maude
Micky Blue Eyes
Midnight Express
Midnight Run
The Mission
Moscow on the Hudson
Mrs Doubtfire
The Mummy (1999)
My Best Friend's Wedding
My Big Fat Greek Wedding
Navy Seals
A Night at The Opera
No Way Out (1987)
Notting Hill
Oh Brother Where Art Thou
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
Pacific Heights

Pay It Forward
The Pianist

Point Break
Point Of No Return (1993)
Private Benjamin
Prizzi's Honor
Pulp Fiction
Raiders of the Lost Ark
Rasputin (1996)
The Red Violin
The Rock
The Rundown
Sabrina (1954)
Saving Grace (2000)
Scarface (1983)
Scent of a Woman
Secret of My Success
Secret Window
Shallow Hal
Shrek 2
The Siege
The Sixth Day
Sixth Sense
Sliding Doors
Some Like It Hot
Something About Mary
Spanish Prisoner
Somewhere in Time
The Stand
Star Trek IV The Voyage home
Storm of the Century
The Hangover
The Terminator
Things are Tough All Over
The Thirteenth Warrior
Three Men and a Baby
13 Going on 30
Thomas Crown Affair (1999)
To Sir With Love
Total Recall
True Lies
Truly Madly Deeply
Usual Suspects
Waking Ned Devine
Wall Street
War Games
What's Eating Gilbert Grape
White Nights (1985)
The World According To Garp