IS IT FUK OR IS IT FOOK?

OMG THIS REALLY HAPPENED TO ME
I work in a physician's office and as I grabbed a couple patient charts, to get ready to call a couple patients to put in rooms. I spy the name of one of them and had to leave the area for a fit of hysteria. I infected the rest of the staff once I pointed to the chart. I was in tears and doubled over. I had one of those hyperventilation laugh attacks.The patient's name was Marsha Fuks. Yes Fuks!Marsha - Marsha - Marsha. Why did you keep this name????????? In all these years living in the U.S.A. why did you not ever change this? Maybe she's related to Joseph Kaka. Yes we had one of those a few years back and still tell the story about him to our office newbys.The tech grabbed a chart from the bin getting ready to call out the patient's name, when he paused. He thought, Oh hell no!, then decided to mispronounce it so that we didn't have a fit of laughter in our waiting room. He pronounced it as Mr Cake-ka. The gentleman popped up out of his seat and with his index finger straight up, corrected our man, saying, "It is Ka-ka". After the tech told me this, I did fall on the floor laughing. We all did again later at the end of the day when he told the rest of the staff and doctor.Well in this hellish economy, I have little luxuries, one is Vosges chocolate and the other is laughter. Thanks Mrs Fuks. I fuckin' needed that.

THE GREAT SUBWAY SANDWICH SCAM

This week the sandwich king Subway, officially became charlatans 9.5 on a scale from 1 to 10.
I went in for a roast beef sandwich, Dasani and chips and paid $ 6.44.
At the end of the transaction, I got a receipt that said, “get $1.00 off your next 12” sandwich and 50¢ off of your 6”.
So today, being a nice day in the low 70’s, I went out again for the same thing.
The bill was $6.42.
I was stunned. I said to the clerk, “I don’t get it. Where am I getting 50¢ off here?”
Pointing out the bill total from the yesterdays receipt, saying that I had the exact same thing and that I’m only being charged 2¢ less.
Their answer to me was that the discount applied to sale of a sandwich only and not their meal. When you buy a sandwich with chips and a drink you are being charged for a “meal”. A fixed, bundled price.
Me,“Who the hell orders a sandwich only? Nice scam you’ve got going here”. I said it loud enough for everyone to hear. I got the 50¢ off my bill right away.
I recon it was “hush” money. LOL Lower your volume and get the hell out.
Subway, you are almost as bad as AIG corp. Rip off artists. Bottom line.
I was charged for each item individually. Thus giving me a total of a whopping 2¢ discount.

SMOKING A KITTY BONG?

Right! This guy is totally demented. He was arrested for putting his hyper kitten in his bong. With intention of mellowing it out.
THEY CALL IT DOPE FOR A REASON.................
God, I thought, I had heard it all. What a retard!
Here's a part of the full article.
Schomaker allegedly told deputies the kitten was high strung and needed to be put in the bong to keep it calm.
“The cat appeared to be very lethargic, somewhat in a sleeping state,” Jarrett said.
Capital Humane Society officials said they have taken X-rays and done other tests to see if the kitten has any long-term affects from the alleged abuse.
“The individual stated he had done this several times,” agent Bob Downey said.
The shelter workers said they are working with the sheriff's office and the county attorney to get custody of the animal so it can be put up for adoption.
“We'll find a home where it will not be subjected to this type of treatment anymore,” Downey said.
Schomaker was cited for misdemeanor animal cruelty.
That charge could be upgraded to a felony if the kitten dies or has long-term effects from the alleged abuse.
A misdemeanor conviction could mean up to a year in jail time, a felony conviction would put Schomaker away for up to five years.
Retarded persons are more brilliant than this loser.
Jackass!