Wednesday, July 25, 2007


Why should I say I'm sorry?

I had a lunch date with "the 'interest' du jour" and because I only get a half hour, we went for a quick steak taco at the closest Mexican joint in the area. I usually don't eat American Tex/Mex stuff but it had to do. So when I ordered, I said to the guy at the counter, "steak taco with only lettuce, tomato and avocado. NO CHEESE AND NO SOUR CREAM." Well I guess this guy was one of my favorite people (a speed listener with AADD) because he had smothered the taco with cheese and sour cream. I took it back to the counter and said, "I'm allergic to cheese and sour cream", (actually I'm not allergic but I am lactose intolerant). So he said, "I'll make you another one". Mr "interest du jour" with a nervous laugh and giant smile apologizes to the guy. It made me feel like I was being such trouble. Not cool. After the guy gave me the new taco and said, "here you go no cheese and no sour cream". I just smiled and took it to our table. My date said, "gosh I felt bad for the guy. He had to throw that first taco out in front of his boss. And I find you intriguing. You didn't say sorry or thank you. You're a tough one aren't you? You don't take any slack from anyone."
My answer. "You have NO idea how thick skinned I am. Secondly, why should I APOLOGIZE? Do I look like some sap? He's the one who screwed up the order. So no, I don't believe in apologizing in this case. But I don't, so you do it for me. Why? And thirdly, I said thanks the first time and smiled the second. Dude you're the intriguing one for over analyzing this." Well this guy has a good nature. No griping. No bitching. All smiles and laughs. That's all I need right now. Lots of laughs. We do have a good rapport and laugh about anything. I'm on the right track this time. Who knew a cheap taco could turn into a brain teaser, because now I'm perplexed as to why I don't apologize when people screw up, like the so many overly polite persons you see out there.
People say sorry way way too often. Sorry when nudging and inching your way out off a crowded subway train. Or thank you after you paid a $500.00 medical bill somewhere. Hell that'll be the day I say thank you to a hospital when I'm writing out a check for that much. It's a little ridiculous sometimes, because it's just so out of habit. Most of our parents programmed us to say sorry, thank you, please and be nice. It's become a "thoughtless" and unconscious ritual like washing hands before you eat. Thank God my mother never told me to be nice. There wouldn't be any Cat woman blog if she did. So next time someone screws up something at your expense, "DON'T say, "that's o.k.". It's really not o.k!


Rhianna said...

You obviously made your preferences very clear to the waiter -- he should have done it right the first time ;)

Avi in AZ said...

I have a bad case of what's come to be known as "Nice Jewish Boy Syndrome." I always say "Please" and "Thank You" and "Sorry," and when I assert myself I feel bad about it. You are right about not feeling bad or wrong when you assert your rights. This waiter obviously got the order wrong, and since you are lactose intolerant you would have to pay for it in ways more severe than just disappointment. You have taught me a lesson...NO MORE NICE JEWISH BOY!! I'm becoming a JAP.

J. David Zacko-Smith said...

I fully agree - you acted correctly - no apology necessary! I mean, it doesn't sound like you were a nasty bitch about it - but you should get what you order! Am I right? I'm right.