MAD DOGGIES

SPOTTED DICK

I know you are all probably wondering why I'm bring up spotted dick. But why not? I never had spotted dick in my life. LOL But in a couple of weeks we're having our annual Celtic fest here and with that comes vendors who sell all the products of the U.K., Ireland, Galicia,Spain and Brittany. And I decided..........I will have a can of it.
I will make my ol' pal Niall eat some dick too. Now, some of you, don't think I'm criticising this food by any means. I'm not. I just think it's a funny name for dessert. Here in America you wont find this on a menu. I've never even seen it at our north side Red Lion Pub's menu. Musn't be very awesome, if we haven't adopted it. Yet I will try it still in spite.

I will also buy a can of Heinz baked beans and make myself..........

Mojito Gum????

There's always a first. Jesus! Mojito flavoured gum. Don't give any of these to your friends in Rehab, I said, NO NO NO. I always thought that in our country, flavoured things were always normal, (well except the salt and vinegar chips which came out of the U.K.) until I saw this on my colleagues desk. I had a piece and it really tastes of mojito. LOL Have a piece when you're too broke to hit the bars after work on a Friday night. Hell have a piece when you're stressed out at work. Maybe it'll trick your brain into thinking you just had a cocktail and relax you some.

Elvira Arellano Gets Deported!

(If you're a left winger....."GO AWAY and DON'T COME BACK".)
It's about time!!!! She's finally arrested! Arellano deported to Mexico And who are the mentally challenged people at this rally???? Jesus!
Here we go again. On a daily basis we hear about this fucking broad, who has a flock of flaky people siding with her, wanting her to stay in America. She's illegal and wants me to agree that it's o.k. to break the law. She broke the law working with a fake SS# plus broke the law by returning after being deported, and God knows what other laws she broke. If I was born in another country, came to the U.S. as a child, was now a U.S. citizen and I broke the same laws that she did (using a fake SS#), I'd be arrested and deported to that country forever. No one would do anything about it, by calling it injustice. But I'm supposed to think it's o.k. for her to, just because she's not Al Qaeda. Jesus, such arrogance. First of all I would like to (no I wouldn't) get into the head of those few, "moron hippy" Americans who side with people like her. My neighbor gets into an altercation (a shoving match) with a girlfriend's ex who's stalking and threatening her, and he gets hauled away to jail in cuffs. Ms Arellano breaks the law, but because she's not a U.S. Citizen, she and her flaky followers feel, she should be exempt from the law of the land. How's that? I seriously need to know how logically one could side with a criminal. So she has a kid. It's not like we're sending her to Baghdad or Afghanistan. There is a breed of Hispanics in the U.S. Who think that being Hispanic is a god like thing and they should be untouchable. I'm Hispanic and never would I think that I'm so special to break any law. I don't dare because, I believe in karma. If I was a member of that church, I would cease my tithes and never go there again. Those church goers should boycott that church. They shouldn't have fed, clothed, aided and abetted a criminal, which is what she is. Nice church. Teaching it's members it's o.k. to break the law..........if you're Mexican??? We need to stand up and not succumb to these people. We as a people should know what's right and not buy into the crap that certain groups (or my flaky cousin) who tell us that our thoughts and actions are wrong and that we're racist and bigots. The politicians (also flakey as a biscuit) should be fired for approving and supporting that these illegal activities are o.k.
They just want votes anyway. They don't give a rats ass about her. But just jump on the bandwaggon so that "they good with their homeys" and get votes next term.
I just opened my window and Chicago is starting to really smell like shit.

ITCH MITE

I got bit by the

On my right shoulder. It's red and round and big. It looks like I've got some third world rash. I don't know why we here in Chicago land have these strange plagues and pestilences ie; West Nile Virus, Itch mites and 17 year cicadas. It's odd because it's not like we have the Everglades nearby or swamps or bayou country. We're Chicago. Sky scrapers and metropolitan! WTF? It itches like friggin hell. I only have one. Those with multiple are getting infections from all the scratching with dirty finger nails and are keeping doctor's offices and the E.R. busy this past week. I'm the only one at work with this. I was lucky (so I thought) to be in the burbs, with the nice open sky last weekend, and thought, hey, let's look at the meteor shower! Bad idea. Now I have to suffer another week. They supposedly last for two weeks. Glad it's not a burrowing creature. Nothing like having to extract an alien out of your body. The wheal is classic round and red. I need to go find some Cortaid cream. The Benadryl is drying and peeling my skin. UGH! I think I should have stayed in Egypt. I'd probably be better off living in Turkey or Egypt or Morocco. The food is better and the shopping is good as well. And they probably have less pestilence then we do at the moment.
CLICK on photo for the news' itch mite story.

Utter Misery

This face says a thousand words.

WOMAN BREAST FEEDING HER CAT

I GET THESE WEIRD THINGS FROM OTHER BLOGGERS. THIS IS REALLY OVER THE TOP YUCK. Sorry but I don't think this is beautiful. If you do you're flakey and wear Birkenstocks and you should exit this blog. Breast feeding is many things, but it is NOT BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!

Filipino Inmates Do Thriller

CATWOMAN THE CON ARTIST

I'm not especially a prankster, but everyone thinks that this was a biggie. I don't think so. I was just lookin' out for myself from a prospective sleeze bag. I have a friend married to a Turkish man. (He's lived in the U.S. For only about 11 years.) So she asked me if I'd like to join her, her husband and his relative visiting from Turkey for dinner at a nightclub/restaurant.
They wanted to show the cousin a nice time and thought he'd feel more comfortable if he had a pseudo date. I said, "sure why not." I made it clear that I would only go to the club and that is it. I am not a damned escort! I actually said that to my friend and she laughed saying, "No, no we'll drive you straight home afterwards. Just be there with us. The more the merrier." Well, that is all good.
At dinner, I said that I would rather have a Coke with my meal and he didn't seem too thrilled. He questioned why I wasn't drinking? WTF? Does there have to be a reason?
I come from a land where women owe no explanations, was what I felt like saying. But I said, "I'll have a couple beers after my meal." Then after the meal, I ordered a Corona. When I was about 80 percent finished with the one, he said, "have another one." Well I didn't want more liquor and the only thing I could think of was to order an O'Doul's. So I did. Then he ordered me a third one without asking me. Then his cousin ordered a fourth one without asking me. Well earlier, I quietly (secretly) asked the lady bartender to put the O'Douls in a pint glass each time, because I didn't want them to know I wasn't having real liquor. So she was a sport and played along. The gang nonplussed to why I was so sober, was getting drunker and louder and Ed was getting touchy feely, which I wasn't having any of. I sat there lady like as normal as normal can be. No matter how many O'Douls I had, I kept having to put his hand back on his own knee. I wasn't getting touchy feely back and he seemed a little perturbed. LOL I was having the time of my life......... straight! Belly dancer was cool. Music was fun. Food great. Date - not so. Looking dejected at my lack of amorousness, he pops up, suggesting we all have one last round. I said, "sure, I'll have a Corona with lime this time in a bottle". So he was happy. Surely I'd finally loosen up after 5! Nope, I chugged half down and nursed the second half for the next 30 minutes. He'd look at me waiting to see if I'd get a little loud or a little merry or a little touchy feely. BUPKUS! I was enjoying this charade. We left and they drove me home. Ed (Ediz) was quiet the whole way. He suddenly looked like he had lost a giant poker match. He sat in the car half drunk with a semi pout. He walked me to my door and asked me, "why don't you like me". I said, "I like you. You speak great English and you are funny. Why do you think I don't like you? Is it because I don't want you touching me all over? Why should I let a stranger touch me all over? If you had a daughter and she was on a first date, would you like her to be touched all over? Sorry, but I'm respectable and I don't know what you expected. But Jackie just asked if I would be interested in joining her and Omer and you for dinner. I didn't think I was required to prostitute myself also!" He took a step back and said. "American women sure aren't coy are they?" "Coy", I say sardonically. "I don't even know the meaning of the word." And without pause, I continue, "Thank you for a great evening. I really did enjoy your company". I'd say let's do it again before you leave but I'm going out of town. Enjoy your stay. Welcome to Chicago. Bye!" And that was the end of that.

I know (AVI in PHOENIX) is going ape shit reading this right now saying, "HOW CAN YOU TURN DOWN A HOT TURKISH MAN?". My answer. Easy. When a guy is certain that I will want to shag him, then of course I will not want to. Babe. It's all about the arrogance. I wouldn't have given him the satisfaction. Yuh know PRINCIPLE. It was a good prank that I will love telling friends about for years to come. It's guaranteed laughs. (Especially the way I tell my stories).